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Do you avoid pain at all costs? Do you find yourself seeking only pleasure and staying away from circumstances that could potentially cause you pain?
I address the pain/pleasure motivational spectrum in my e-book, THE DATING BLACK BOOK, and I want to help you through a little of your own anguish here today. How you handle it will ultimately determine your success. You see, you have to be willing - and even a little eager, as sick as that sounds - to go through a little discomfort to get to your goals with women. Men don't have the built-in sexual instincts that women are brought up with. Women study this stuff every week, from Teen magazine to Cosmopolitan, to know how the game works and how to win. They've always had the upper hand. |
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The bottom line is this: relationships take work. They are difficult and fighting can be either a way to grow as a couple or to destroy the relationship. You have to decide which it's going to be. The time to do this isn't when you're angry - it's when you're starting to form the structure and tone of the relationship. Thus, talk about this up front. Decide what you're going to do when challenges come up. Are you going to stand your ground or are you going to compromise and work things out for the good of the relationship? If you don't learn how to work them out, you'll never have a relationship that lasts more than 9 months.
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I’ve been reading your articles and finding that I can get a girl’s number or email after chatting a bit with her and using some humor, but I notice that things fizzle out after a date or two.
Suddenly, they have other plans, or they tell me they met someone, etc. I get the feeling that I must be something wrong from the time of getting a girl’s number to the actual dates, because this keeps happening to me over and over again. I try to keep things going smoothly on the dates, I try to keep the conversation going, etc. I really don’t give the women any reason to not want to go out with me again. Any ideas to help me out? |
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